the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
