My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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