Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
