I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
