Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
