That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
