i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
