For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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