We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
