she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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