I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize