Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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