Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
