She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
