I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
