she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
