were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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