Its about making memories worth repressing
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
