I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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