Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.