you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
These 19 Menâ€™s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
should my penis look like a turkey
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator