"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
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You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space