ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
