Porn is love you can see.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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