Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Boobs speak an international language.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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