if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
