after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
