i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
