there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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