Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
