you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
There r osticjed everywhere
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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