the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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