Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
