I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
