Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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