His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
