I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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