She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
