his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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