my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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