Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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