Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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