He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
