There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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