Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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