how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize