i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
