Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think my moral compass just broke
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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