he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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