dude i'm inner monologue high
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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