can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
