I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
