these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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