It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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