DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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