a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
