If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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