Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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