So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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