just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
