I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
