nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
