i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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