I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Little spoons don't ask big questions
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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