Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
