What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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