Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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